Whenever I do this art thing in my blue colored pages, it’s usually because i’ve got lyrics stuck inside my head, or perhaps a really good line from a book kept knocking around my head over and over, unable to get out unless it came out of my fingertips. This time it’s Hurricane by Halsey, that got stuck up there needing a way out.
I’m not yet a fan of all her songs, or maybe it’ll end up being an acquired taste like the lovely Lana Del Rey, but either way, this song came up in a playlist I was listening to on Spotify and there was just something about it…that 90’s vibe, a fall of shivers down my spine at the feeling of memories not really my own coming up in my mind…it got stuck and this is what came out. I would suggest that if you haven’t heard the song before- to maybe listen to it without watching the video on youtube first, just to see what comes up in your own mind first.
Just a couple of work in progress projects,and I can’t help but love the feel of blue on my fingers. The months drawing to a close and theres been so little and yet so much going on, that feeling of a blurred rollercoaster ride thats not taking you anywhere but changing you all the same.
After almost 5 months in some kind of weird holding pattern, i’m breaking out of it, slowly but surely. I’ve spent the last couple of days sending people weird and overly emotional emails, crying over songs about outer space, marveling at the beauty of rainbows bursting overhead outside of hospital room windows, dancing around my room in the middle of the night in my jammies and in general just feeling like a final goodbye is the best kind of healing sometimes. Basically, i’m going to be ok.
Songs on Repeat: Stay Alive – Jose Gonzalez Hallelujah- Panic! At The Disco Shut Up and Dance- Walk The Moon Uptown Funk- Mark Ronson Love Me Like You Do– Ellie Goulding Eternity (reprise)– Stellardrone Sugar– Maroon 5 All I Want (manilla killah remix) – Dawn Golden Come and Get Your Love– Redbone
Yeah, it’s been a week of Top 40 hits for me, what can I say? I’ve been needing some pick me ups and just slightly mindless fun to dance around my room to so, there you have it.
Currently life is tumultuous again, in that lovely-brilliant-wtf-is-even-going-on way… but tell me it’s not more interesting this way? Between finishing up my last week at my job, idly re-working my resume and experimenting with just how many hours of sleep I need to not need a nap in the middle of the day, i’ve also been working on this piece and a couple others. I’m considering doing a couple of these kinds (since I’m addicted to drawing swirls and mountains, apparently) and maybe take up screen printing to layer them on soft fabic t-shirts.
First though, lets just see if I can make it to May without combusting from lack of sleep, get crushed beneath unread books I keep buying and not reading and/or end up buying a plane ticket to Alaska ’cause I finally said “screw this place”and went to train Huskies for the Iditarod. I mean thats not likely but you never know right?
I’ve taken to listening to podcast and lectures while I type type type away at work. I used to just make myself playlists, or find existing ones on 8tracks or Spotify, but after a couple of weeks of that my brain started caving in on itself with boredom and demanded more substantial food to digest while another (tiny) part actually did work. Not to say my job is boring, just to say that when it comes to feeling challenged, perhaps that is slightly lacking, at least right now.
” Fear not ! “, I murmured to my brain, “I shall procure entertainment for you and then you can stop replaying my most embarrassing moments of the past 10 years for enjoyment, you intangible bastard.” So I downloaded a couple (more than a hundred )of episodes from various podcasts, from Welcome to Nightvale, which I had stopped listening to almost 2 years ago but was more than happy to dive into again, to 99% Invisible which is hard to explain but is proving fascinating in multiple parts so far. I also got hooked on a couple of audiobook lectures, my favorite currently being 1066: The Year That Changed Everything. I’d never listened to audiobooks before, not to mention i’ve never experienced history in a solely auditory format but I gotta say, it’s definitely something I’m loving so far. I don’t know if i’m going to go as far as purchasing actual audiobooks, though I did catch myself eyeing the audiobook version of The Devil In The White City but we’ll see….
Songs on repeat this past week: Girls– Slow Magic Hold the Line– Toto Wish You Were Here– Sparklehorse Honey– Junkie XL Girls & Boys – Good Charlotte Saiun– Yoshida Brothers Simple Math– Manchester Orchestra La Vie Boheme– RENT
This coming week i’ll probably devour 50 more episodes of podcasts, bother my bf with endless tidbits of information about medieval history after I splurge on The Medieval World audiobook (from the Great Courses section if anyone else is interested) and hopefully battle through my slightly-ever-increasing boredom at work. I’m not complaining though, honestly hey, at least I get to listen to whatever the fudge I want to as long as my production queue volumes don’t go down, and that at least, is a challenge I can meet. Er, hopefully.
I’ve spent the past week trying to immerse myself in office life (who knew fancy trousers cost so much?How did I actually end up disliking hour lunches?Why are all the good looking people in the IT department?) and wrapping up the last of my holiday shopping so I don’t have to brave the shops the week RIGHT before and accidentally end up tripping over someone in my haste for that last box of perfect smelling tea.
The year itself is coming to an end, right around the corner. Soon enough we’ll start seeing those ” and in this New Year...” posts, all those lists of things to do and goals to accomplish and while I’m always the first to commend people on being motivated towards the things they want,i’ve started to realized that that time frame of Old Year—> New Year has faded dramatically for me. Last year this time, I was gearing up to head to California to spend time with my best friend Watson, and explore places familiar and strange. This year, i’ve got a new job, one that I wouldn’t have even considered applying to before, and no idea of my next adventure in sight. And I think… i’m ok with that.
I still think of myself as a human disaster, but as this year comes to a close, maybe i’ll see myself as closer to a balled up blanket on the bed than the epic triple car crash collision of before?
Music on repeat this week- Animals- Maroon 5 Tomorrow– Daughter Do you…(Cashmere Cat remix)– Miguel The Hanging Tree– James Newton Howard Border Crosser– Trails and Ways