I’ve finally gotten around to confessing myself to friends that might or might not have been waiting for answers to my self imposed hermit-like ways of last year and there’s something to be said about unburdening yourself onto the table with all your guts on display like “yes hello there, here’s myself, judge as you’d like.”
I’m getting back to art though, now that the guilt i’ve been carrying around for the past 10+ months has lessened. I mean, I still have huge bridges to repair with friends of course, telling people what exactly has been going on with you isn’t quite the same as taking tools to the cracks in the foundations of your friendships but i’m at least on that step now instead of the square zero of before.
Just a couple of work in progress projects,and I can’t help but love the feel of blue on my fingers. The months drawing to a close and theres been so little and yet so much going on, that feeling of a blurred rollercoaster ride thats not taking you anywhere but changing you all the same.
After almost 5 months in some kind of weird holding pattern, i’m breaking out of it, slowly but surely. I’ve spent the last couple of days sending people weird and overly emotional emails, crying over songs about outer space, marveling at the beauty of rainbows bursting overhead outside of hospital room windows, dancing around my room in the middle of the night in my jammies and in general just feeling like a final goodbye is the best kind of healing sometimes. Basically, i’m going to be ok.
Songs on Repeat: Stay Alive – Jose Gonzalez Hallelujah- Panic! At The Disco Shut Up and Dance- Walk The Moon Uptown Funk- Mark Ronson Love Me Like You Do– Ellie Goulding Eternity (reprise)– Stellardrone Sugar– Maroon 5 All I Want (manilla killah remix) – Dawn Golden Come and Get Your Love– Redbone
Yeah, it’s been a week of Top 40 hits for me, what can I say? I’ve been needing some pick me ups and just slightly mindless fun to dance around my room to so, there you have it.
No Art Journal Monday this week, apologies to anyone who actually looks forward to those ( hello random stranger, you’re looking especially great today!) but I spent the weekend preparing for an interview, trying to get my sleeping schedule back on form by staying up all night and day minus-ill-advised-3-hour-nap, working on my book outlines and getting caught up with my penpals. I did miss it though, and I can say that Art-J Mondays will be back next week with vigor.
(Or at least with more coffee?)
I have been drawing a lot though, the thoughts of mountains forever rising behind my eyelids and pouring ideas of them through my fingertips. Also been working on a sticker series, based on the idea of RAK’s (Random Acts of Kindness), just positive thoughts kind of quotes and words to leave around the Dallas/Ft. Worth Area or to send to friends who can scatter them in their own cities. I’ve still to break open and scatter colors everywhere with my new watercolor set but I HAVE at least been working on ideas for what to eventually get around to coloring. Mountains might be in my dreams but city skylines are in the blood that rushes through my veins.
Music on repeat this past week:
Crazy in Love- Kadebostany
Warm (feat. Raury)- the neighborhood
Animal- Racing Glaciers
Daze- Poets of the Fall (a Russian penpal sent me his cover of this and it was epic )
Tesselate- Tokyo Police Club
On a final note, does anyone else hate the “So, tell me a little about yourself?” question in interviews as much as i’ve come to?
I think i’ve spent more than is probably normal (or sane) thinking about mountains this past year. Their heights, all the curves leading outwards and up, the sheer magnitude of presense a mountain can have on the landscape, the sight on the horizon that reaches into your heart and makes you long for exploration.
And so. Mountains.
Considering i’m just about to start in on 3 more drawings….I think I might have a bit of a problem.
Since coming back my schedule has been all out of sorts, and finding time to catch up with letters (not to mentions send out the oodles of postcards I picked up) as well as keep going with all the ideas and projects I have knocking around the brain pan… it can be feel slightly like taking on a bit much.
( About the nutty array of notecards above, these were what I was using to more fully map out the book i’m working on, till my bf finally got tired of me dropping my cards everywhere and got me Scrivener which is an insanely fantastic piece of software that makes tackling the broader strokes of an all encompassing idea that much easier. Also, it means i’m not running around the apartment looking for lost pieces of paper anymore. )
Despite it all though, it’s nice to get the thoughts out. To visualize in real life the images, plots and imaginings that really only had a hold in my mind before. Also, leaves are really relaxing to sketch, just saying.