A Line Of Love, Around My Neck

Love, the necklace
Hands, chest and shoulders
Love, the idea
A line around my neck, Love
The love, necklace

Love, the idea of it in all forms. From the start of time to the very end, it remains such a constant, this bond we create with others and enforce throughout all our lives with words, actions, thoughts and creations.

Both so flimsy and unbreakable in the same breath. To me, the love for a friend is as strong as passionate romantic love, and to other the love for family is strongest of all. Millions of ways and counting to express this inexpressible occurrence of emotions.

I’m a writer, in the sense that I express myself best through words and prose infused ramblings. And though I have read my favorites, Neruda and Yeats,and dunked myself in the lovely throes of their expressions of love found, I’ve always thought that- to me at least- the idea of love was best expressed in music. The kind of music that transcends and breaks through language barriers and tugs at the hearts of everyone regardless of origin. Prose is lovely and fantastic, and the most skilled wordsmiths can break my heart apart with just one good sentence, but music puts me back together and to me at least, it cannot be surpassed in the stirring of emotions.

Songs that infuse in me the idea of love, to the very tips of my fingers:

Fyfsta– Olafur Arnalds

The Heart Asks Pleasure First– Michael Nyman

Beethoven’s 5 Secrets– The Piano Guys

We Had Today– Rachel Portman

Charms– Abel Korzeniowski

The Ash In Our Clothes– Sleeping At Last

Your Hands Are Cold– Dario Marianelli, Jean-Yves Thibaudet

Messier 45– Stellardrone

The Light– The Album Leaf

Adagio For Strings-The City Of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra

Cloud Atlas Finale– Tom Tykwer

Your Hand In Mine-Explosions In The Sky

~m

These Ships Sail- Do All the Things (and drink more Tea)

North Texas mess books, varied, in hands Sharpies, Pens, and more Pens The desk, and all the projects Mail on the clothes lines tracing elements The girl, and a WIP The mess and the mind

There’s some days that you just need to curl up near your desk, plunk a sketchbook in your lap and listen to every single song Snow Patrol has ever released while drinking tea like it’s a magic creativity potion. Somedays you know you’re going to get stuff done, you really are, all the note cards, pens and planners are lined up like soldiers on the front line of the war against procrastination but… your going to do it all in your pjs and no one can judge you for that.

I finally caved and got Lightroom + Photoshop installed on my mac and i’ve been learning how to use it all over the weekend….while also simultaneously wondering if pursuing the whole photography thing is really what I want, because dear gods this is getting time consuming and the whole “side hobby” thing is starting to get faded into meaninglessness. I don’t want to be a professional photographer, I think there’s already an overabundance of amazingly talented and outrageously brave people doing that for me to even make a small splash in that ocean… but, it’s something I love to do.  I enjoy combining it with everything else I do, I feel it’s been incredibly instrumental in helping build the story i’m working on (for what will hopefully be my first book), words spilling easier when I think about how to frame them in the context of a viewfinder. When I put pen to paper to flow lines into sketches, the ideas of how to place them comes from the ways I line up shots, and I find patience for exploring new ideas and styles in the memory of all the adventures i’ve had with my camera bouncing along with me.

Photography has encouraged me to explore more, to wake up earlier, to pursue more more more and my mind feels larger than it did a year ago when I first picked up a camera with real intention. My eyes see more beauty in the ordinary and everything glows more intently in my mind when I focus on the visual elements of a moment, an appreciation for aesthetics as well as the things that break aesthetics. While I might never be the kind of photographer that makes peoples jaw drop and eyes sparkle, I can appreciate the singular joy it’s brought to my life already. Even when i’m exhausted at 3 in the morning, and I would rather die than look at another photograph to edit because i’ve already gone through hundreds that feel utterly lacking,  and my heads thunking on my desk in a repeating patter to wake myself up… giving up doesn’t ever feel like an option. And I hope it never does.

~m

A Story, In Few Words- Photography Practice and Missing Cups o’ Joe

Wipe those eyes, brush brushChristian Dior and Gold Stuff Baked, in my makeup bag Lipstick, and here's that pale skin the sun hates

Recently I had someone tell me “I like your blog, it’s not like….about makeup and stuff.” And I remember that my face scrunched up a little and I stared at my fingernails with the kind of intensity that you can only achieve when you know exactly what you want to say, but you’d really rather not say it.

Nope, I don’t blog about makeup (or “stuff” really….I kinda just throw stuff on here and pretend it’s a cohesive train of intentions) but I can tell you that 60 % of the blogs I follow, they do. And while I don’t think I have ever really gleaned true knowledge from those blogs, it’s more because of the human disaster that I can be rather than a failing on said bloggers.

I admire them though, and the courage to put myself out there, out here, it comes from them. So no, you’re never going to read a blog post here about the best mascara to use, or if primer really is useful when it comes to anyones routine (seriously, is it? Someone answer this…), and I won’t even share the one and only time I tried to use a blowdryer and ended up smacking myself in the face and scorching my neck with what I consider inappropriate Mordor-level-heat. But man, don’t use my blog as an example of the “right” way to blog or whatnot. Because 1, my blog is an utterly inconsequential mess, and 2, there’s no such thing. If you want to blog about makeup, do it. Want to write about Thomas Paine’s ideas and his influence on the American Revolution, yes, right on. Not everyone’s going to like everything that’s out there, obviously, and this sort of rhetoric maybe only fits certain aspects of the blogging sphere, but when at all possible, build people up, don’t tear them down. Maybe, yeah? And now for more coffee….

~m