Just a couple of work in progress projects,and I can’t help but love the feel of blue on my fingers. The months drawing to a close and theres been so little and yet so much going on, that feeling of a blurred rollercoaster ride thats not taking you anywhere but changing you all the same.
After almost 5 months in some kind of weird holding pattern, i’m breaking out of it, slowly but surely. I’ve spent the last couple of days sending people weird and overly emotional emails, crying over songs about outer space, marveling at the beauty of rainbows bursting overhead outside of hospital room windows, dancing around my room in the middle of the night in my jammies and in general just feeling like a final goodbye is the best kind of healing sometimes. Basically, i’m going to be ok.
Songs on Repeat: Stay Alive – Jose Gonzalez Hallelujah- Panic! At The Disco Shut Up and Dance- Walk The Moon Uptown Funk- Mark Ronson Love Me Like You Do– Ellie Goulding Eternity (reprise)– Stellardrone Sugar– Maroon 5 All I Want (manilla killah remix) – Dawn Golden Come and Get Your Love– Redbone
Yeah, it’s been a week of Top 40 hits for me, what can I say? I’ve been needing some pick me ups and just slightly mindless fun to dance around my room to so, there you have it.
Did I mentioned in any of my recent blog posts that centered around the lovely mess that is my life currently (ahem, always) that me and the boyfriend were thinking about buying a house? I get the feeling I didn’t….probably cause I didn’t want to jinx it up something terrible. BUT after 2 weeks of putting together a workable budget, applying for loans and going round looking at houses with our awesome realtor, we finally settled on one this past week. And then we put in our bid….and it was accepted. After we stopped freaking the fuck out about that, we strapped on our adult shoes (which I personally don’t ever wear unless absolutely necessary ) and moved on to the next step, which was scheduling an inspection and going through what felt like a billion legal documents to read and sign. And while the whole process is still going to take the better part of this month and the next, we’re already kinda going a bit nuts with ideas for furniture, what to do with all the extra space we’re going to have and also the possibility of adopting a dog from a shelter. On a less fun note though, we’re also looking through brochures for home warranties and weighing options for future home repairs/necessary improvements to maintain the value of the property.
Part of me is of course, unbelievably excited and ecstatic and… the other part is eating Doritos under my desk and mumbling about not being “adult-y” enough for this yet. Its the best financial decision for us (which i won’t get into because it’ll involve spreadsheets, PowerPoint presentations, and scribbled napkins that make little sense if you’re not me) but of course it’s utterly scary considering I just recently entered the realm of my mid-20’s. All I can say with any certainty right now is that i’ll try my hardest not to end up using this blog as my home improvements project dumping ground, as there’s many much MUCH more talented people out there blogging about that already and i’d rather just go stalk- er, browse their blogs for ideas instead. Though, if anyone out there has/is going through this process and has any tips or tricks to keeping the calm, do feel free to share.
I got a new set of brushes and paints almost 2 months ago, but it wasn’t till this last week that I actually got my hands and wrist messy with their color.I can’t say i’m any good just yet, especially considering I mostly work in tones of black and grey and any kind of color work usually kicks my in the face but I’m working on it. I’ve also been listening to more music again as opposed to just mainlining podcasts for hours and hours on end.
Songs on Repeat this Week:
Billions and Billions– Stellardrone Bad Intentions– Niykee Heaton Me Voy A Quitar De En Medio– Vincente Fernandez Out Tonight– RENT Soundtrack San Francisco– The Mowglis The Light– The Album Leaf Rise– Hans Zimmer
Currently life is tumultuous again, in that lovely-brilliant-wtf-is-even-going-on way… but tell me it’s not more interesting this way? Between finishing up my last week at my job, idly re-working my resume and experimenting with just how many hours of sleep I need to not need a nap in the middle of the day, i’ve also been working on this piece and a couple others. I’m considering doing a couple of these kinds (since I’m addicted to drawing swirls and mountains, apparently) and maybe take up screen printing to layer them on soft fabic t-shirts.
First though, lets just see if I can make it to May without combusting from lack of sleep, get crushed beneath unread books I keep buying and not reading and/or end up buying a plane ticket to Alaska ’cause I finally said “screw this place”and went to train Huskies for the Iditarod. I mean thats not likely but you never know right?
I’ve taken a bit of a break from my art journal these past 2 weeks (wow, wait really? I just realized it’s literally been 2 weeks since I’ve picked it up…alright then ), not because of anything really just… the usual February slump that comes around this time of year, always. I think it hits me a little worse than most people, that feeling of “jeez, this new year is really not going how I wanted it to…” because right after February comes to a close, I turn a year older. Not that I hate my birthday, it’s just that extra mark down in the years that you thought you’d have done certain things by this point (like get that tattoo, see Norwegian peaks or eat a whole box of Cap’t Crunch in one sitting) .
Also, I spent the last two weeks listening to Nick Drake on and off again and let me tell you, if you don’t feel at least slightly maudlin before, you’ll be more than halfway there after a couple of tracks. It’s a loveliness that wraps itself in tender tendrils that can be very hard to escape.
I decided to kick myself at least partially out of this slight slump though, by spending a sunny winter Sunday afternoon with my father, digging our hands into moist soil and repotting some flowers I had bought. I wanted a little more life inside my apartment and making that extra time before I leave for work to make sure the sun has a chance to fall on some buds, as well as checking in on them while I sketch at night, it’s been a kinda wonderful sort of thing. So i’m battling it out with the rest of this month, and while i’m sure i’ll get to March with some bumps and bruises, as long as I get there, it’s all good.