It’s been a while since I posted up pages from my art journal or just art in general hasn’t it?
It’s… easier for me to write posts that deal with traveling, because I can ramble on for ages detailing life on the road or the virtues of a specific landmark but art -and especially my art journals- they’re definitely more personal and I always feel that I have to dig that extra inch deeper to come out with something worth saying. And what is it that i’ve dug up from the deep this week? Lets see…
Tumultuous friendships- those that bud rapidly and then just as easily are shed. Also, the Byzantine era, oddly enough? Those two things have nothing to do with one another….or actually they could have so much to do with one another but, at least in my head, they’re at two different ends of the sheet. The first is something i’m generally always dealing with, the second a new interest. But, progress! I’ve stopped throwing my shoes at the wall in frustration with people who have a hard time differentiating who they want me to be and who I actually am- and as for my rogue interests, i’ve stopped flipping my wallet open at used book stores just for a chance to feed the addiction that comes from learning new (but generally useless in my everyday life) things. Anyone else nursing budding random interests?
June is bringing with it muggy hot weather here in Texas, but i’m feeling positive about the future and at least I have a great supply of iced coffee in the fridge that is keeping me cooled and caffeinated.
I’ve finally gotten around to confessing myself to friends that might or might not have been waiting for answers to my self imposed hermit-like ways of last year and there’s something to be said about unburdening yourself onto the table with all your guts on display like “yes hello there, here’s myself, judge as you’d like.”
I’m getting back to art though, now that the guilt i’ve been carrying around for the past 10+ months has lessened. I mean, I still have huge bridges to repair with friends of course, telling people what exactly has been going on with you isn’t quite the same as taking tools to the cracks in the foundations of your friendships but i’m at least on that step now instead of the square zero of before.
Lately I seem to be taking my artistic hermit ways even further than before.
Apart from the occasional text message here, emails answered to an old friend that recently reappeared and some online conversations, my interactions with humans (apart from my superhumanly understanding and patient boyfriend, someone canonize his soul please) has been severely limited on an as needed basis. I’m not an introvert in any sense of the word- haven’t been down that past since highschool- but lately i’ve felt like when I talk to people, i’m just cobbling together words that I hope sound right, instead of actually connecting with them. And that’s been depressing as all hell.
But, every cloud has a silver lining and whatnot so at the very least I can say this month’s umbrella of anti-socialness has resulted in a finished draft of my first attempt at a book, an actual written thing that i’m considering a personal triumph if only because I never thought I would actually finish it and now that I have it’s sort of like what-the-hell-wow-I-actually-did-this-ok-dokey, and at 112,000 words, it’s the most i’ve ever written on a single illuminated focus. So, hooray July anti-social tendencies?
I’ve also been experimenting with color more when it comes to typography mountains series, and let me tell you, not being very fluent in the wonders of sharpie art made this one a real pain to finish. There’s something so thrilling about working with just ink pens and sharpies though, this exhilarating heart in your throat feeling that makes your eyes burn with concentration and your skin sizzle with tension. It reminds me of breaking the speed limit at midnight on an empty stretch of highway by 30mph and that feeling of excellence in your bones that makes you know for sure that you’re not going to get pulled over because it’s just you out there.
Also, i’ve been listening to the album Blurryface by Twenty One Pilots on repeat for what feels like days now, so if anyone can recommend good music for me to dive into before my brain starts leaking out of my ears in waves of color, please do.