Art Journal Monday- What Do You Dream About These Days?

 Slytherin themed artjournal pages

What are your dreams, when you dream- if you dream- what do they resemble? What shapes do they take?

I dream of saints and mountains and the golden flow of time. Those with bruised, dirty feet covered by heavy cloth, mini swirls of dust teased up by the movement of their path. I dream of outer space; the known exciting possibilities and established hard scientific rules….and smash them together with dreams of the fantastical and thoroughly unknown and almost impossible. I lose time on thoughts of deep and dark forests, the peaks of powdery mountains unfurling endlessly in the distance, and the sensation of tiny waves passing over and over at my feet as I stand up against the fury of a nameless ocean with my hands utterly empty at my sides.

dreams of green, art journal pages

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can see notes of music flow underneath my hands as I pass them over the cold keys of my neglected keyboard, sounds both known and not coming apart underneath my fingertips, their composition disintegrating just as they reach completion in someones ears. Colors splash like blood spatter against paper when I trail my hands over my art supplies, and in my head it’s all an endless parade of anything goes and the laws of what is physically possibly by hand do not apply.

Dreams are so nonsensical- until they’re not and then when they make sense, you wonder if you can trust anything at all. They’re hard to explain, and even harder to make into any kind of reality and it’s so easy to get lost in them, the purity they hold so different from waking life.

What are your non-sensical dreams made up of, what basic building blocks of components do they share, if any?

art journal pages, Slytherin themed

Music on Repeat- 

Ave Famy
Giving Up My EchoesBelgrave
Beautiful HellAdna
Til My Heart StopsToo Far Moon
Dreams TodayEfterklang
Deep Shadow- T.T.L 
A Historic Love- Trevor Morris
Opus 36- Dustin O’Halloran

~m

It’s The Price Of You And Me- Swirls with My Morning Coffee

It's The Price, Sleepy Fables and Coffee art Coffee and Art , sleepy coffee and fables The Price of You And Me, Sleepy Coffee and Fables Coffee and Fables art , by M    Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

Did I mentioned in any of my recent blog posts that centered around the lovely mess that is my life currently (ahem, always) that me and the boyfriend were thinking about buying a house? I get the feeling I didn’t….probably cause I didn’t want to jinx it up something terrible. BUT after 2 weeks of putting together a workable budget, applying for loans and going round looking at houses with our awesome realtor, we finally settled on one this past week. And then we put in our bid….and it was accepted. After we stopped freaking the fuck out about that, we strapped on our adult shoes (which I personally don’t ever wear unless absolutely necessary ) and moved on to the next step, which was scheduling an inspection and going through what felt like a billion legal documents to read and sign. And while the whole process is still going to take the better part of this month and the next, we’re already kinda going a bit nuts with ideas for furniture, what to do with all the extra space we’re going to have and  also the possibility of adopting a dog from a shelter. On a less fun note though, we’re also looking through brochures  for home warranties and weighing options for future home repairs/necessary improvements to maintain the value of the property.

Eeep. 

Part of me is of course, unbelievably excited and ecstatic and… the other part is eating Doritos under my desk and mumbling about not being “adult-y” enough for this yet. Its the best financial decision for us (which i won’t get into because it’ll involve spreadsheets, PowerPoint presentations, and scribbled napkins that make little sense if you’re not me) but of course it’s utterly scary considering I just recently entered the realm of my mid-20’s. All I can say with any certainty right now is that i’ll try my hardest not to end up using this blog as my home improvements project dumping ground, as there’s many much MUCH more talented people out there blogging about that already and i’d rather just go stalk-  er, browse their blogs for ideas instead. Though, if anyone out there has/is going through this process and has any tips or tricks to keeping the calm, do feel free to share.

Not yet drowning in my coffee cup,
~m

No Gods, No Master, Just Me- a Work In Progress

Works in progress, fablesandcoffee coffee and art No gods, no Master, Just Me No Gods, No Master, Just me No gods, no Masters, Just Me- fables and coffee WIP No Gods, No Masters, Just Me, fables and coffee wips, sleepy coffee and fables

Currently life is tumultuous again, in that lovely-brilliant-wtf-is-even-going-on way… but tell me it’s not more interesting this way? Between finishing up my last week at my job, idly re-working my resume and experimenting with just how many hours of sleep I need to not need a nap in the middle of the day, i’ve also been working on this piece and a couple others. I’m considering doing a couple of these kinds (since I’m addicted to drawing swirls and mountains, apparently) and maybe take up screen printing to layer them on soft fabic t-shirts.

First though, lets just see if I can make it to May without combusting from lack of sleep, get crushed beneath unread books I keep buying and not reading and/or end up buying a plane ticket to Alaska ’cause I finally said “screw this place” and went to train Huskies for the Iditarod. I mean thats not likely but you never know right?  

~m

Tell Your Future- The Tin Stories

Tin Stories, a blur - sleepy coffee and fables
inspired by Carnivàle , Tin Stories
in ink, in pen, Tin Stories sleepy fables and coffee

Perhaps it was found underneath a pile of dusty, spiderweb covered quilts, or shoved behind a pile of outdated encyclopedias. A simple and small thing to misplace and leave behind…. or maybe something purposely hidden away, to never think of again. Delicate, ornately covered fingers uncovering and dusted off to peek a look inside. Perhaps stubby young hands grabbed without notice, shoved in a pocket for a later look. And the question itches at the mind, does it itself, tell your future…?

Tell Your Future, Tin Stories, sleepy coffee and fables fables and coffee, Tin Stories
Altered Altoids Tin, fables and coffee

Could be it was a gift, from some half-stranger right around the time the sun was setting on the third day in the last week of that 11th month. Or a whimsical purchase from a used trinkets store, it glinted in the reflected sunlight of old mirrors and the want tugged at some memory long buried. Something slightly borrowed from a beloved aunt or taken from a distant and never-seen relative. Were you asked to take a glimpse at the events to come and fold it up, hide it inside, to forget only to remember on another distant day?

altered tin box, fables and coffee Tell Your Future, Tin Stories Tell Your Future, Tin Stories, fables and coffee

It could have been as easy as being handed a small card from inside, any card, pick one, and tell me a story. Amid breathing in cold and wild blue winter air or burning the smell of a summer ending in willing lungs while the sky slowly lit up with stars. Your future is only a single option from a list of many to be told, easily and fairly exchanged for a thrill at the unknown. 

Tell Your Future,  

 ~m

 

Part of a new series i’m working on, a way to stretch out those creative writing tendrils a bit. For anyone curious, I listed to the Carnivàle soundtrack on repeat while I came up with the idea for the tin and the words following. Creepy and lovely, with just a hint of disturbing. Highly recommended songs : Black Blizzard, Justin Calls Iris, Rita Sue and Jonesy, Babylon and of course the Main Title Theme. 

So I Quit My Job,Got a Keyboard, Switched German for Spanish and Became a Trekkie

Thats a hell of a title huh?
Where do I even begin….. well,lets start with, I quit my job.

I’ve never really talked about it in depth here, apart from mentioning that it required me to buy fancy trousers and gave me ample time to listen to lectures and podcasts while I worked. To boil it down to the essentials, it’s a pharmacy office job where I sit at my overly-huge desk, boot up about 10 different programs and spread them out on my two screens to review and type up prescriptions for dialysis patients on my ergonomically correct keyboard thats about 2 sizes larger than a regular keyboard and took my clumsy fingers weeks to get used to. It’s what i’d call a cushy job, with a nice paycheck and lovely hour lunches that I could easily get used to….if it wasn’t for the fact that my brain started shriveling the second I came out of training and had to get through a day by myself.

I’d never had an office job before and I thought…well, I thought it would be great honestly. Compared to the utterly stressful places i’d worked at before, running from one volatile situation to the next, juggling 4 different tasks while also having a phone stuck to my head with a pissed off patient on the other end of the line…I don’t know, it seemed ideal. And it was,it definitely was.
a little less fables, a little less coffee
work wardrobe, office style
mountains, fablesandcoffee

For a while, until it wasn’t.

Untill my insomnia started getting worse and worse and I was running on a collective 4 hours of sleep for days on end, till I realized that I had pretty much alienated all my friends and family and even my artistic pursuits had dried up like dead animal husks in the very harsh desert that my mind was turning into. Untill I realized that I was pretty much neck deep in depression and it was only going to get worse from here on. It took me a good 4 months to realize (and admit to myself) that this isn’t the kind of job I can do. Four months to realize that sitting at a desk all day with just my thoughts and podcasts for company wasn’t all that much better than what I had previously been doing. Sure, the moneys great, but if I can’t even use the art supplies the paychecks enabled me to buy, to read all the books, comics and magazines I could afford to splurge on, whats the point exactly? I’m oversimplifying the situation of course, I could probably draw up a chart and write a 10 page essay on all the factors leading me down into the pit of depression I found myself in but, hopefully, you can trust when  I say, it wasn’t the place for me.

So, I handed in my resignation letter last week, and next Friday will be my last day and I don’t have any real clue what my next job’s going to be, or even where exactly i’ll be looking. I have enough money that i’ll be alright for a good bit, and an incredibly amazing and supportive boyfriend who’s made sure I don’t feel like an utter failure (because of course I feel like that half the time) and… and well, I feel better now than i’ve felt in a long time, even if I have no idea what comes next. So that has to be good, right? Maybe it sounds nuts to quit your cushy job when you don’t have an idea of what comes next and no doubt thats probably somewhat true, but I can’t really make myself feel illogical for doing it either way. After all, a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

messing with tins, fablesandcoffee inside the studio, sleepy coffee and fables the mess, affectionately fables and coffee crafts with altoids tins, fablesandcoffee music theory

Moving on to something completely different, with no good segue at all, the new keyboard! Ah jeez, what can I say, a person can’t have enough interests right? Seriously though, sometimes I walk into my studio/office room and I think ” fuck, my heads really a mess isn’t it?.” . The walls here are covered with postcards and snailmail from penpals, posters of Batman, coffee shop menus, fashion photos, maps of cities I haven’t been to yet… There’s a table full of art supplies in front of the window, pilled to overfill with sketchbooks, watercolors, colored pencils, ink pens, graphite pencil sets, sketches and color studies . To the right of that is a wall covered with architecture photographs, piles of magazines (art, lifestyle, architecture, designs and fashion), books and my oft neglected sewing machine. Above is a shelf full of graphic novels, art books and random nerdy nicknacks. Somewhere to the right is a big red Ikea unit that has a basket of my sewing projects, more fabric than I’ll even know what to do with, jars of buttons and ribbons galore. Underneath, more books,names like Dawkins and Sagan peeking out from underneath craft and fantasy books and just about every theres some kind of journal or notecard with stories or poems or lyrics scribbled on them.

And now, to complete the whole shebang, a keyboard.  This isn’t an entirely new whim mind you, I used to play one when I was in high school and  recently my hands desperately itched to touch one again, so for my birthday a couple of weeks ago the boyfriend went out and brought one home. And now i’m learning basic music theory, because of course I am. Anyways, after that it was pretty easy to say to myself “Yo, maybe you need to give up at least one of your other pursuits if you don’t want your brain to slowly start leaking out of your ears” So I’ve put aside my yearning to learn German (at least for this year) to focus instead on my rapidly declining Spanish skills. ¿Qué más puedo decir, verdad?

Man… I feel like this post is getting ridiculously long and overindulgent, so i’m just gonna say, when it comes to the last part of my title, after coming across some hilarious posts on tumblr and re-watching the new reboot movies, I decided to take a chance and start watching the original series on Netflix and oh gods. I have literally never enjoyed a series more than i’m enjoying this one. Sure, the effects can be cheesy and there’s moments where I find myself yelling at the screen for Kirk to make better command decisions (come on man!Are you the captain or what?!) that I left wonder what i’m doing with my life, but it’s very decidedly, totally my jam.

So yup. Thats where my heads at, where my life is at, and I have really nothing concrete to say about any of it. The one thing that I do know for sure is that i’m taking this next month to just get my shit together. Which will hopefully mean more posts having to do with art, photography, music and less about my mess of emotions and the continual science experiment that is my life, because really, theres only so much you can say about that. Also, i’m bringing back my art journal, since abandoning it when i’m almost done is just shy of insane, considering i’ve been working on it for over a year at this point. And, last but not at all least, I can hopefully begin to repair the friendships i’ve damaged these past 4 months. I might still be digging myself out of this expansive crater of depression but I can at least try and be a better person than i’ve been, no matter how enticing solitude can look from down here.

parachuting sloth

Life is not meant to be lived alone, and while it can certainly feel easier that way, in the long run i’d rather deal with the dramatics and heartbreak than the oppressing loneliness that comes when it’s 3am, you can’t sleep and there’s no one to call. I’d also very much like to be the person thats called at 3am, even if it’s only to have odd conversations about thought experiments, One Direction and Neil DeGrasse Tyson. So I don’t know, lets see what comes next.

~m

P.S  Incase anyone was wondering, yes, that is indeed a Winter Soldier case on my iPhone. Is anyone really that surprised? Also, the shirt picture above is from the podcast 99% Invisible , which is freakin brilliant and everyone should listen to it if they have the chance. Along with Criminal, Invisibilia, Star Talk, Kakos Industries, The One You Feed and of course, Welcome to Nightvale….er, to just mention a few.