March is here, and we’re in the ides of it and I made a joke to the bf that now is the perfect time for me to get stabbed in the back by someone. He just shook his head at my inanity and said “no one’s gonna stab you” and went back to half watching an especially wild episode of The X Files.
I have twin desires, the first being to blow past any and all expectations people might have of me, whether thats at work, in my personal life or just driving down the highway and inadvertently starting a race with the Mustang next to me; this drive to push forward in anything I encounter- maybe not to be the best but certainly to get close to it. My other desire? To life a stress-free life in obscurity. You can probably see how very much these two things do not complement each other.
Burning curiosity, I think thats my fatal flaw. Or maybe it’s the callous boredom that follows after i’ve absorbed all the information I can on a subject without trying for a degree in it. Either way, there’s that feeling I get in all my relationships, platonic or not so much, that I exasperate people with a terrible ease and that’s how we come back full circle to the Caesar reference. Maybe i’m just feeling especially morbid this time a year? I don’t know, I think I probably just need more coffee in my daily life and less stress.
Still editing photos from the roadtrip I took through the southwest of these United States and currently I have 14 folders with an average of 12 photos, each corresponding to a potential post, plus another folder with misc. photos. So…..I mean….i’ll get there eventually. The trip wore me out in a good way, but then I got sick something dreadful on Sunday and have just recently started feeling better. Work is kicking my ass and the expectations there feel just a knife edge towards overwhelming and my thoughts of running away to Alaska have returned with a vengeance. But for now at least, my desire to face down expectations with a grin and automaton like precision is winning out. Wish me luck dear readers, in surviving this next month with my sleeping patterns intact.
Not drowning in my coffee cups just yet,