Art Journal Monday- These Black Stars and Deadlands

Song lyrics- Far From Any Road, The Handsome Family

Song lyrics- Far From Any Road, The Handsome Family

I’ve been thinking about death a lot lately.

Well ok hold on- before this gets really morbid, let me begin anew by saying, i’ve been thinking about death in that all encompassing and almost annoying way you can get when its 3 in the morning and you can’t sleep and your thoughts begin to go down the path of “i wonder where do we go after it all ends” and then you migrate on over to “is anything eternal, does anything truly linger?”  I wouldn’t presume to think i’m the only one who gets like that when sleep won’t come, thought I imagine that it’s less common with people who get enough rest.

black suns and stars

Here in Texas, the land seems to go on forever sometimes, long stretches of road that fades into the horizon like you’re out at sea and the shore is just a faded memory. I’ve been out there in the dead of night with no cars in sight for hours on end, driving driving driving and it’s at times like that when the idea of eternity seems the most real to me, as odd as that sounds. There’s just something about being behind the wheel of a car, the wide open road yawning forever in front and just pocketed shadows of land surrounding me, containing the possibility of anything. It takes you about 7 hours to just get out of the state, at least from where i’m situated, and trust me, believing in eternity- in the idea of forever – it comes so easy when passing under the shadows of the monumentally enormous grain silos and almost terrifyingly gentle wind farms that span the nothing out there.

lyrics, art journal photography

So why death then, if eternity is what occupies my mind? ‘Cause death holds tightly gripped hands with eternity, you can’t get one without the other even if you tried and I think accepting the idea of eternity is about as easy (or as hard, depending on who you ask) as truly accepting the idea of death, that inevitable end. And when I look out across the small expanse that is my life, I want to know that I am satisfied with what i’ve done, and still utterly hungry for more. And accepting both eternity and death, it helps me with that.

And honestly, most days? I’ll take all the help I can get, no matter where it might come from.

What do you think about, when it’s 3 am and you can’t get any sleep?

far from anyroad, art journal post

Songs on Repeat This Past Week- 

Legions (War)Zoë Keating
Nagada Sang DholShreya Goshal
Thrown AwayVast
Can IAlina Baraz, Galimatias
Prituri se PlaninataStellamara
CowardHayden Calnin

Not drowning in my coffee cups yet,
~ m

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