Where This Will Take Us- Trinidad, Colorado (the last part)

This view this view Trails in the sky Don't Walk, Colorado Up we go A street alight West THeater was lovely, open one day Hidden parts, trinidad Colorado Twin Doors, Trinidad Colorado The bricks here, Trinidad Colorado This is the Place- Trinidad Colorado I want this sky Main street at dawn The lights over the stationFlowers and slight nostalgia

               So you got in my veins and I never invited you inside. 

Trinidad, Colorado is important for many upon many of reason. For about 9,000 it’s home, for others it’s that first real stop before heading deeper into Colorado’s mountains, and for me it was the re-awakening of exploration. After coming back home from my May trip ( covered to exhaustion here ) I was a bit bone tired of adventure. Wanderlust had taken a backseat to figuring out my life and getting stuff together in some kind of semblance of adulthood. Friendships had begun to strain and show cracks in the face of my terrible time management skills and basically, the idea of travel and more importantly, the joy of exploring, was buried under 10 feet of reality.

For people who don’t live wanderlust 24/7, who don’t hold jobs where their love of exploration quakes the land, where the thought of waking up and going off to seek adventure is more an idle fantasy than a solid reality, losing the part of yourself that seeks discovery can be a loss that isn’t noticed till it’s too late. I’ll be the first to say, that at least for this part of my life, i’m not ready to hit the road and live a life of nonstop travel.  I love my couch, my local Chipotle, the way my laptop connects to the wifi automatically at home, and the fact that after a particularly grueling day at work I can climb into my empty bathtub in my pjs and just scroll endlessly on Tumblr without feeling like i’m wasting precious time. So, endless travel is not in the cards for me.

(Not yet. Maybe. I mean, we’ll see? Ahem.. anyways…) 

The goal behind going to Colorado was to see mountains, to climb mountains, to breathe in the mountain air and basically did I mention mountains? But making the decision to explore this town, instead of just gassing up before heading towards our destination, it was the first step towards getting my curiosity back, my love for exploring and discovering and just always taking that side road to nowhere in particular. After we came back from the trip, even with my hard-drive crumbling under the weight of all the photos I had taken, I set out to keep exploring, even if there are no mountains to see here in Texas. I’ve taken to exploring the farmroads that lead to battered and windswept barns, finding the beauty in crumbling brick buildings that occupy towns hard to find on the map, and taking in the expansive beauty that a Texas skyline can provide at sunset.

I might not be a great photographer, but I think i’m learning to show what I see and how I see it in the way I can focus my lens.

~m

Art Journal Monday- How Not to Chase the Storm

Lay your head down, fables and coffee paper ships and coke bottles Lay your head down in my arms, art journal page How not to chase the storm, fables and coffee Art journals and mason jars Paper ships, fables and coffee I will not submit to- art journal page To the idea of who I should/should not be Pages and paper ships Right round lyrics on journal page You Spin my Head- art journal page Spin my head right round, art journal pages

Has anyone started decorating for the holiday season yet? Turkey day is almost upon us folks here in the USA and while i’m not actually doing anything for the day except sleeping in, I feel the impending pressure to decorate and buy more presents than is economically advisable coming on. I also managed to somehow to land a new day job that i’m pretty fantastically excited about (let me just tell you though, doing a final interview running on 3 hours of sleep is NOT advisable, no matter how well it worked for me) which means i’ll be having to brave the shopping malls for sensible office shoes and I don’t know, professional trousers of some kind. Is there a section in the clothing store aimed at people who feel most comfortable in pj’s and fuzzy slippers?

My minds been in flux all month it seems, and while i’ve given up on the idea of regaining a new sleeping pattern till after November is well and over, I remain thankful for ink stains on my forearms, the patience of friends and the kindness of near-strangers. And coffee, of course. Always coffee, but surprisingly, also tea.

Music on repeat this past week:
Here we go again– Milkman
Cameras– Matt & Kim
Combatiente– Mana
Para Alcanzarte – Sin Bandera
Kajra Re– Aishawarya Rai ( playback singer Alisha Chinai )
Right Round– Flo Rida
Landfill– Daughter
With or Without You– U2

And on that note, if anyone has any good classical or mostly instrumental music to recommend, please do. I’m going to finally start watercoloring this next week (swear to gods it’s going to happen…)  and while i’ve got a good playlist going, suggestions are always welcome. Barring that, Bollywood music is always welcome as well.

~m

Your Sweater Vest Is Nice- Ideas about Friendships and Terrible Selfies

Hugging the penguin costume

It started a little like this :
At times overly-pretentious photographer friend-” Yeah, i’ve been working out a lot lately, 6 days a week. ” *insert terrible selfie here*
Your rather tired and sleep deprived narrator– “Wow, 6 days a week? Thats dedication right there. Nice.”
At times overly-pretentious photographer friend– “Your supposed to say I look good.”
Your rather tired and sleep deprived narrator –” Yeah, I know. ”

And well, after that the conversation spiraled into disjointed words and it ended 10 minutes later with me blocking him on my phone and going to make myself a cup of tea. The thing that gets me here is, I always kinda figured the friendship would one day end this way, and YET, we stuck it out for literal ages out of a misguided idea that we were good for each other, in some way. But we were not. While it might have taken much longer than i’m proud to admit, i’m finally learning how to walk away from friendships that I hoped one day would evolve into something more than they were currently, and trying not to feel bad about it.

Maybe that makes me sound like an utterly shitty person, so let me explain.

I took a pause a couple of months ago and realized, holy-mother-of-gods I have a good number of people who I consider friends ….where the reality is that they see me as either a muse of sorts or, even worse, an idea to lean against for comfortI don’t mind being the friend you run to when things get bad, especially because I think kindness and compassion are some of the best things you could give to your friends… but… when people see you as this pillar of endless support regardless of how out of control your own life is, thats a bit of a problem. And when it comes to being seen as a muse, the person they turn to when feeling uninspired, that can be so flattering no? What could possible be wrong with that? Nothing really, if thats just a part of how you’re seen. But when your role in someones life is “muse“, full stop, and you had hoped that perhaps you were something more substantial than that, it can easily kill little bits of yourself.Professional Coffee and Fables Up at 3am, here we go

There is a full person behind these words, behind the colors seen from a distance, not just an idea to be used for comfort or inspiration. 

I believe everyone has millions of different parts to them, tiny worlds and immense galaxies, whether they know it or not. The person they present to their loved ones vs the one seen by abrasive strangers. The strained smile given out of relief at the end of a hectic morning and the genuine half crazed grin blazed across a face in the middle of an adventure. The love of this vs that, fears and long held beliefs clashing with new ideas. There is so much to people, and when it comes to people who you truly love and care about, I believe it can be the greatest disservice to see them as this one dimensional structure instead of the ever growing organic beauty that they really are. No one is just one thing, no matter how much they might insist they are, and treating someone like a concept created solely for your own enjoyment/betterment, man, it’s the worst. IMG_6840

Anyways, this got a whole heck of a lot more personal than I thought it would but there you are. Also, I should mention that I do actually have some amazing and wonderful people in my life who see me as the walking human disaster I am vs whatever the heck others think. I like to chill out in my empty bathtub when things get really stressful, I am more dependent on coffee than I am on anything else except perhaps oxygen, and I genuinely like getting to know people for the millions of gears working to make the person they are.

~m

Up Up, Look Up- Sky and Stone in Trinidad Colorado

Look at this sky
Can you tell I love it?
red and red and white and blue
Up up, look up! Trinidad Colorado
A lovely set
Broken framework in Trinidad Colorado
Just a moment, Trinidad Colorado
white and green and lovely
Epic sky and stone
The sky was lovely, Trinidad Colorado

When you wander, look up look up look up

So did I mentioned how tired I was when I was wandering around Colorado taking these photos? I think I might have..but well, this was a sort of a last minute trip, planned in the course of less than a week and thrown together in the hours before departing. I did a full shift at work, came home to finish packing, then we threw everything in the car and headed off towards Colorado and colder climates. We drove across west Texas through the night, skipping into the top corner of New Mexico just as the sun was coming up and staining the skies purple, quiet music plinking on the radio, both of us just a little bit tired. My bf had managed to get a couple of hours of sleep in, whereas I was running on coffee fumes at that point and reality was a little shaky at that point for me. Still, you can’t stop me when I get an idea in my head and running around empty streets with dark circles emerging on my face, the longing for sleep and more coffee was put aside for the deeper craving to look closer closer closer , to watch the sky compliment the tops of buildings in a most lovely harmony.

I did eventually get coffee and even sleep later, but one came much before the other and there were still things to see here.

~m

Tell Me Your Story- Trinidad, Colorado

Trinidad, Colorado
The sky is magnificent

A lovely scene, Trinidad CO
Skateland, Trinidad Colorado
Pete's Auto Repair, Trinidad CO
Up these rickety stairs
Fox, Closed Temporarily
Empty Wall, Trinidad CO
! Trinidad
Empty Storefronts, Trinidad Colorado
Things Lost


These flags and trains

There are some places you visit that inspire questions in you. No matter how many historical placards you come across, informative flyers or quick google searches you do, the questions remain and you wish you could have a little more time to explore.

Trinidad was never meant to be any kind of stop for us, just somewhere to fuel up before heading into the mountains towards our final destination, South Fork. But the sun was coming up and casting light over unfamiliar buildings and empty streets and even though I had been awake all night at that point doing a slightly grueling 12 hour drive, I had to stop and take a look around. I remember it was slightly chilly, the streets were completely empty, and it was like something out of a fairytale almost.

~m

(Pt. 1 of the Trinidad story )