There’s some days that you just need to curl up near your desk, plunk a sketchbook in your lap and listen to every single song Snow Patrol has ever released while drinking tea like it’s a magic creativity potion. Somedays you know you’re going to get stuff done, you really are, all the note cards, pens and planners are lined up like soldiers on the front line of the war against procrastination but… your going to do it all in your pjs and no one can judge you for that.
I finally caved and got Lightroom + Photoshop installed on my mac and i’ve been learning how to use it all over the weekend….while also simultaneously wondering if pursuing the whole photography thing is really what I want, because dear gods this is getting time consuming and the whole “side hobby” thing is starting to get faded into meaninglessness. I don’t want to be a professional photographer, I think there’s already an overabundance of amazingly talented and outrageously brave people doing that for me to even make a small splash in that ocean… but, it’s something I love to do. I enjoy combining it with everything else I do, I feel it’s been incredibly instrumental in helping build the story i’m working on (for what will hopefully be my first book), words spilling easier when I think about how to frame them in the context of a viewfinder. When I put pen to paper to flow lines into sketches, the ideas of how to place them comes from the ways I line up shots, and I find patience for exploring new ideas and styles in the memory of all the adventures i’ve had with my camera bouncing along with me.
Photography has encouraged me to explore more, to wake up earlier, to pursue more more more and my mind feels larger than it did a year ago when I first picked up a camera with real intention. My eyes see more beauty in the ordinary and everything glows more intently in my mind when I focus on the visual elements of a moment, an appreciation for aesthetics as well as the things that break aesthetics. While I might never be the kind of photographer that makes peoples jaw drop and eyes sparkle, I can appreciate the singular joy it’s brought to my life already. Even when i’m exhausted at 3 in the morning, and I would rather die than look at another photograph to edit because i’ve already gone through hundreds that feel utterly lacking, and my heads thunking on my desk in a repeating patter to wake myself up… giving up doesn’t ever feel like an option. And I hope it never does.