While I was on my roadtrip last October, I kept a journal with me (along with my Mac) and I would scribble away anything that pinged in my heart whenever the desire struck. I ended up coming back with tons of scraps of words that didn’t quite fit together, so I figured I would lump them all together and call it a collection.
I roared through the Alabama freeways today,while the sunset burnt the sky with a fury that could rival judgment day. A blaze in the sky and crashing waves inside me, twin forces that could propel me into an ecstasy unrivaled by any other passions momentary. I cupped the moments in my mouth and swallowed them whole, into myself, to be saved for those days that eat at the sides of my heart and leave me splintered. I can make myself whole with these memories as guides.
I want to put a pin on every place that your heart has ever desperately longed for, the places that pulled a spark from the depths of your eyes, and I want them to fill all the empty pockets inside me, till i’m close to bursting and showering you with memories.
Lets go, lets go, lets go.
( 3 hours for ever 400 miles it seems,was my limit)
I mastered the art of giving my heart away, piece by piece,to places I might never see again, and got ever so excellent at tearing chunks of myself out to leave on the foothills of mountains. I feel as if it would take me a year to retrieve every scattered part I left behind, and I haven’t a guarantee that I wouldn’t leave as much or more again.
But there is a yearning in my bones, at the base of my skull and in the tendrils of my lungs that is greater than the parts of me i’ve left behind, those lovely bookmarks, placeholders and pauses that lull me, awake or asleep, to the road again, to chase the morning into night and back again.
The horizon was the color of an old bruise, slowly healing, when I passed the boundaries into Texas tonight, and I’d like to think this old state had missed me and my renegade ways enough to bleed beneath it’s cloudy skin. But, I know this place and it’s steadfast soul, and one more wildcard amid all the crazy eights won’t turn heads here.
My eyes still lingered on the flush of the sky though, and I felt a smile grow on my lips and a spot light up soft in my chest while I made my way home through the familiar dusty, bent highways.
On and on we can roll down these prairie planes and god I love to run with you. We can close our eyes, bodies full of joyous aches, sweet laughter and know love will not falter or fade, become bitter or small. We are ever so tiny, but our love can engulf galaxies unknown. Let us explore them together.