my work station, ms fablesandcoffee

An Upheaval, Bring The Paper Boats- Thoughts on Inspiration

paper boats, we float

“Even paper boats float, given enough faith.” 

What brings you inspiration? That seems to be the most commonly tossed question at artists/artistically minded people. And sometimes people have intricately lovely answers, something they can point to with consistency. The love of their family perhaps, the landscape of their homeland, their own personal scars and memories. These kinds of slow burn inspiration points that propel like a gentle wind towards more and more and more. 

Hello! says the hand drawn dinosaur hi-fructose and vogue Given the inspiration, whats yours?

Other times it seems to be constantly fluctuating mediums like music, movies, books, theater and other forms of art all around, old or new.Taking from one to give to the other, being inspired by art of all kinds all around, it’s a commonly sited point of inspiration for so many kinds of artists and performers, and of course that makes sense. No man is an island after all, most especially not creatives.

Perhaps more volatile ever changing things as well, like current political climates and world events, the fervor that bites beneath each and every major city all around the world, these as well can be seen as the key ignition in so many works. Gigantic space and time, the smaller bites of life joined with the unending past and sewn in with the ever expanding future, so many things big or small and what a question to try and answer no?

The Winter Soldier, hot toys action figure re-doing the art presets

“What inspires you.” 

You might as well ask someone why they go on living each day, really, because you’d probably get about the same answer either way. Either a passionate response…or the shrug of a shoulder.

little paper boats, fashion magazine pages my work station, ms fablesandcoffee

The things that inspire me fade and change with time, they burn into my eyes and lungs with an energy I can’t deny till that energy is spent and i’ve moved on towards other things that will create that maddening midnight addition under my skin again to create-create-create and the only thing I can tell you with certainty about any of the things that have and will inspire me is that they can come from anywhere and combine to create anything, abstract and concrete alike :

historical lectures on wandering marauders- a single line of poetry caught in a flash scrawled across a private notebook-the way a stranger looked hunched over their phone like their life had just been splintered in half- a particularly great episode of a usually mediocre tv show- the way it felt to get your heart broken at 16 and think you would never recover- tasting real hot buttered southern style biscuits for the first time at 3am in the backseat of a speeding car- the architecture magazine picked up on a whim- that novel currently sitting at #1 on the NYT bestseller list that is so very cliche but damn if it isn’t compelling- that one thing that happens all the time at your day job that happens only to you and you want to explain it to the world- that song you put on repeat for hours on end trying to fall into that feeling over and over- the feeling of helplessness watching the news roll in at night and knowing your breath is a priceless gift given freely today- the wild windswept landscape that i’ll never again see again with my own eyes but my mind will always remember- the taste of blood when biting back angry words- the flash in the sky that inspires you to think of other worlds, other galaxies, infinite space and infinite possibilities….

What inspires you? Can’t help but think there should be no easy answer to that.


Sleepy days, open windows

I’ve Fallen Out Of Favor With The Muses- Frisco, Texas

Sun warmed skin and jeans

” They say Kings die like other men “

And so November is here and well started, and no one is more surprised than I at how this past month has run away with time like the spoon with the fork towards the moon. I’ve spent the last month relearning myself in the context of other people, integrating myself somewhat amicably at my new job, learning what it truly means to work in the corporate world for the first time in ever and watching the sun set in brilliant splendor against the tall windows of the business park that rises right outside the windows by my desk that are always kept open and un-shuttered.

I’m….content, I think the word is.

sun flares, photography texas

I’m constantly challenged every day with this new job, which is what sold me on taking it in the first place but I had thought perhaps when I was told “oh definitely, this job will challenge you” that maybe it was just what they said to convince me to sign on. (It’s always nice when you realize your supervisors didn’t lie to you no?) I work for the specialty pharmacy/pharmaceuticals branch under the umbrella of a much larger global health care solutions/manufacturing company and while that all sounds like something out of Resident Evil or just a slew of boring corporate jargon, I like what I do and I get paid well to do it and while this isn’t quite the same as living life artistically and wildly as I did just a little over a year ago… don’t write that part of me off just yet yeah? I’ve still got dreams of mountains pouring themselves down my cerebral cortex nonstop, playlists of music for the forgotten daughters of kings playing loudly on my morning commute and colors still overflow like a mess of spilled yarn wherever I go, even if now it’s just in my corporate appropriate wardrobe.

blue sun flares, texas photographysun flares on a lazy day

The muses might have fallen asleep in the backseat of my car for a good chunk of the past month but i’m feeling like they’ll be waking up soon enough.

Sleepy days, open windows

Music on Replay (links in the song titles): 

Mad Rush– Philip Glass
Coward- Hayden Calnin
Something About You– ODESZA remix Hayden James
Song For Jesse– Nick Cave & Warren Ellis
The Rocket Builder (Io Pan!)- Jóhann Jóhannsson
Railroad Track– Willy Moon
Mojo Fix– Martin Harley
Sergio Leone Suite: Ecstasy of Gold– Yo-Yo Ma (Ennio Morricone)
Experience– Ludovico Einaudi

Not drowning in my coffee cups yet,

hands gesture photography study

Brush On Silk- Gesture Study Photography

Hands, photography study hands gesture photography study Hands, gesture study gesture practise, photography reverence, photography practise

Staring at my hands, the lines the veins the contours of shadows in the light and following the back and forth in chase that could go on forever.

 It’s a bad habit, a thing I seem to indulge in much too often to be good for my mental stability. But it’s oddly soothing to me. There’s a lot of things you could read into it, literary references galore and mountains of movie tie-ins to the idea of what hands have done and how you can never wash away the true remains of past mistakes or whatnot but…there’s also just a plain and simple beauty in a person’s hands- any person and any type of hands. 

To me they’re the most intimate things, more expressive than eyes and easily the most gifted at giving clues as to their owners paths in life and while indulging in staring at my own is not the best use of my time, I could have worse habits. 


happiness in black and white, ms Fables and Coffee

Happiness In Black and White- Oy, Absence!

happiness in black and white, ms Fables and Coffee

I’ve been away for a bit… which should surprise literally no one at this point honestly, but for those who weren’t expecting the occasional absence when they signed on to follow my ne’er-do-well adventures, erm… apologizes. I’m a massive flake when it comes to a lot of things and this is one of them.

On to some news! (good and bad) ….(mostly good though)

-I got recruited out of the mother-flippin’ blue for an amazing position working for a rather huge pharmaceutical healthcare company (don’t want to mention their name here but considering i’ve had plenty of friends give me blank looks when I told them who, it’s probably to the same effect here) . The position comes with a substantial raise, lots of vacation days/benefits and other lovely things BUT you know what the best thing is?? It cuts my daily commute from about an hour to 20 minutes. Maybe the raise would have been the best thing for most people but if you’ve never sat through morning rush hour traffic going into Dallas, I promise you that you’ve not experienced true hell. Unless you’ve sat through afternoon rush-hour traffic into Boston, in which case I bow down to you because THAT is truly an exercise in futility and aggravation.

– Me and the boyfriend bought a new car, finally saying goodbye to my beloved Toyota Corolla DX. It was a sad parting for me as i’ve had that car since when I lived back in California. It’s the car I learned how to drive in back when I was still 13 and just… lots of good memories tied in that car and I had honestly not been expecting to part from it (mostly because at this point it was really bloody old and had a good few problems with it) but the dealership offered to take it as the downpayment and well, at that point I waved goodbye to it and grabbed all my stuffed animals to move them to the new car. The new car btw is a stupidly awesome 2016 Jeep Renegade Latitude. It’s a compact SUV (whatever that means honestly)  and i’m quite in love with it. There are plans for a roadtrip in the near future and I couldn’t be more excited for that.

– On a more personal note, the depression that i’ve been battling for the past 8 months has seemed to fully dissipate back into a more sedentary thing and while there are days that I spend what feels like hours looking down at the lines of my hands and pacing very dark corridors of my mind…overall i’m learning how to kick myself out of them and pushing myself to move towards creativity instead. I still haven’t quite gotten around to talking about the mess i’ve been with all the friends I abandoned these past few months (and maybe a part of me feels like a massive coward hoping one or two of them will read about it here and save me the truly awkward conversation) but I feel ok finally acknowledging how very much not “ok” i’ve been and thats sorta kinda huge for me so…cheers for that?

Anyways….things are good right now, is what i’m trying to ramble towards. My to-be-read pile has increased by another 5 books as I went on a bit of book buying binge at Half-Price Books and bought waaaaay too many economic/economic theory/economic policy books and it couldn’t feel better to have them all piled up on desk just begging to be devoured and poured over. I’m finally getting to watch season 3 of Elementary and falling in love yet again with Lucy Liu (not a girl-crush thing btw, this a full on “I would lay down the world at her feet” thing) and i’ll be back to regularly scheduled posting on here soon enough.

Song of the moment? Bit of a gimme, but here you go :

Not drowning in my coffee cups yet,